True definition of frienemy

Barish: I left you some poisonous bears on your desk.
Alice: OH It was you! Usually you wait until someone eats it before telling them it's poisonous.
Alice: They are cute though. I'd thank you if you weren't trying to kill me.
Barish: I figured I'd leave them for people I want to kill...yourself & Doug for example.
Alice: Thanks man. You're so swell.

Censored

She doesn't have a filter! She's just ice cold.

Standards

While I was working on the art for the RIFT mobile app ~

Alice: What's up?
Kevin: Just coming by to take a look at your progress.
Alice: This is going to take a while. =(
Kevin: Yeah and you gotta make it better than the last two projects because of your standards.
Alice: Damn my standards!

Calvinn "likes" himself, way too much.

Note: All the "likes" are from Calvinn except for the last one where Mike liked himself to prove his point. =P

/kick

I'm a bad influence

Butterflies! <3

Ellery: there were butterflies at the office?
Alice: in my tummy. =)
Ellery: ...
Alice: I didn't EAT THEM! LOL if that's what you're thinking!!!
Alice: I'm Chinese, but not that ghetto
Ellery: OH, oh, hahahaha
Ellery: wow
Ellery: that is awesome

Playtesting

Alan: alice's character has an ability called.. Track Wood. uh huh hhuhu huh
DreZel: haha
Alice: very mature

Awesomeness

Josh:
Have I told you lately you're awesome?
Because you are so very awesome.
Me:
Is this so I'll get you the game faster?
lol, or because I slaughter live chickens?
Josh:
perhaps both, but more the latter =]
Me:
Hehe, noted

People who keep asking for programming or design work but don't want to pay for it

Chris: I have a bartender friend / artist type who wants a graphic designer to help her with a project.
Chris: And I'm like, do you have money?
Chris: And she's like "no, art is it's own reward" or some such bullshit
Chris: And I'm like "is bartending it's own reward? because, if it is, you can fucking come over and serve me drinks after work".